Rivana
31 May 2011 11:11 pm

Tried a less conventional way of paneling this time. I hope you guys like it.

Don't be shy to Vote for Eon in the TopWebComics website (You can vote everyday, no registration required). If Eon makes it to top 100 for the month, we'll have an extra page published as a simple way of saying thanks from yours truly :)

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22 May 2013 10:35 am

Rivana
01 Jun 2011 11:09 am

@reverendjack - Thanks!

@Eish - Thanks for the critique. Yeah I was actually having second thoughts on the text size. I read that the average (printed) comic font size is 6-7 fonts (ideally for detailed drawings like this) but it does look like for web format, it needs to be bigger. doh.

Hands are also one of the things that I find very difficult to draw so yeah, I expect a lot of errors in those. It's a work in progress lol. I drew more hands in this page than what I normally do lol.

I also agree with you on the background. I thought about blurring, fading it a bit more as well but just left it as it is. I can still try and make that change and see how it goes (also adjust the font size).

Thanks again for taking time to look at my page. Much appreciated! Please don't hesitate to do the same on the subsequent ones. <3

Rivana
03 Jun 2011 09:09 am

@eishiya - Not yet but that's a good idea. I can try printing a page this weekend and see how the text size looks. I did increase it to 0.5 though. I have it setup in standard (Western) comicbook resolution.


Also edited some stuff based on your feedback :)

reverendjack
31 May 2011 11:22 pm

new page looks good!

eishiya
01 Jun 2011 10:23 am

I find the text difficult to read because it's so small.

The characters' positions are not well established. It took me several reads to realize that you're actually NOT breaking the 180 rule, but that they're actually just turning. When a character changes position, you need to make that obvious. Lighting changes on body parts do not read as easily as some motion lines, or a full figure.

There are a number of problems with the hand in panel 3, but I think I'm just being nitpicky now. Be careful with finger lengths and shapes, and the soft padded bit where the fingers go into the palm is what pops out the most, while the palm itself is a pit. This applies even when a hand is gloved (if anything, it applies even more then). Reference your own hand while drawing if you can, it's a huge help.


I hope it doesn't sound like you did everything wrong here. You didn't!
The panelling reads very well, and the lighting in panel 5 is really good, both in terms of mood and visually, since it sets the face apart from the background without making it look flat. The colours on the face are also nice, not muddy. Whatever you did there with the colours, it's working very well.

The panelling here might not be conventional for western comics, but it's a common layout in manga, and I think it works very well here. I probably would have faded the background a little though, so that there was a clearer gutter for the smaller panels. With the gutters full of art, the page looks a bit cluttered, even though the layout itself is fine.

eishiya
02 Jun 2011 04:03 pm

Have you tried printing this page?
Unless this is printed very large, I'd imagine this size font (at least with this typeface) would be difficult to read in print.